Wednesday 17 March 2010

Garforth Town 3 - AFC Field... erm, Fylde, 2

16-3-10

Town looked to build on the foundations of a good win at Radcliffe, by destroying the inconsistent team of Viking town Fylde, and fully recompensing the goal difference setback of seven days prior. They nearly managed it too, with a comfortable eighty minutes and a hat-trick of well taken goals, before a nail biting conclusion as the players that the Blackpool team could ‘field’ decided to go down swinging. We all love a bit of drama, don’t we? Three points in the bag, no harm, no foul…

Field managed to exact some early pressure on Town, but it was dealt with imperiously. The first noteworthy chance for the home side came from a passing interchange, as Field were cut apart down the left channel before Greaves angled to shoot, striking his shot against the woodwork. Town were comfortable in the second third of the half, as they pressed and probed while receiving little in the way of counter attacks.

As the half neared its conclusion, Fylde finally broke through in an unadulterated ‘gimme’ chance. One on one, only Ellison in the Miner’s goal to beat… I speculate that the player in question aimed for the practice nets propped up against the stadium wall, some ten yards to the right of the near post that he spectacularly failed to get near. For shame, pal… what a stinker.

Town duly punished that moment of footballing ineptitude, as another interchange through the middle dissected the visitors. Mark Piper slotted home a lovely through ball for Nathan Kamara, and the nephew of an UNBELIEVABLE sky sports commentator drove the ball home across goal. Cha-ching.

The second began with a siege of the Fylde, as Garforth gained the ascendancy. One interchange was cut out at its climax courtesy of a desperate block, and Craig Harding was unable to respond with a goal scoring shot through a wall of players. It wouldn’t matter; Kamara claimed a second with an adroit finish; a ‘Sheringham run’ to the near post channel, meeting the ball with a low, flicked finish to that same post from twelve yards.

A subsequent move saw Lee Mason do well to keep the ball in play, before scampering down the right to fire in a cross. Greaves converted, another step closer to the magic 30, and Town were on cruise control over a hapless, helpless foe.

Alas, last Tuesday’s goal difference deficit was not cancelled out, as Field scored first a good goal, then a crap one, but Garforth hung on to the end to claim the points that up until the eightieth, had been academically theirs. Squeaky bum time aside, the vast majority of this performance was comfortable, and so it is three good games in four, another win, and another step in the right direction…

Field; you went out on your shield, refusing to yield, with dexterity concealed until late on, when your players steeled themselves to reveal passion and zeal… oh for real.

Radcliffe Borough 0 - Garforth Town 2

13-3-10

On a day when Manny Pacquiao further cemented himself as the pound for pound #1 boxer on the planet, Garforth produced a performance that was certainly ‘minute for minute’ superior to a dreary Tuesday at home, and earned some redemption with a capable display in sinking Radcliffe by two goals to nil on their own turf.

Early Radcliffe pressure was undone by the lack of clinical finishing, and while Tom Morgan needed to be attentive, he was rarely troubled. A reorganised Town looked much more impressive, with Mark Piper back to his industrious self in the centre, and Dominic Blair pressing and probing, in what was probably a man of the match display.

The opening goal, when it came, was worth the wait. Fisher floated a ball across the box from the left wing, which was met by ‘The Van Basten finish’; a volley back across goal, nestling the ball in the corner of the net. Lee Mason; take his bow…

The prospect of a repeat of Tuesday was a scarier one than being caught in an extra-marital affair with Aleksander Emelianenko’s wife – by Aleksander – but thankfully Garforth were a far more solid outfit, and after a howling miss from Slim Shady (the Radcliffe no.9) save for free kicks and toothless attacks, the home side never really troubled again.

Riordan shaved the bar with a speculative shot, and both Town and Radcliffe began to get caught out frequently by the constant offside traps. Arsenal style would not prevent Town eventually adding to their numerical advantage, as late in the game, Ormsby played Blair out wide, and he jinked, cut in and sent a ball in, which was put back across for Greaves to add to his goal tally and get one step closer to the magic 30. It was too late for dogs without teeth to bite Town back, and Garforth had sealed the game.

Next up, I predict a 3-2 victory over FC Grassy Field, and you can take that one to the bank Junior! Pacquiao wide UD, and 3-2… predictions; it’s what I do. Call me Karnak.

Garforth Town 0 - Prescott Cable Scousers 5

9-3-10

I would rather:

> Get caught out with Aleksander Emelianenko’s missus… by Aleksander
> Hunt for bears… with a knife
> Go to Russian prison for 5 years
> Fight Mirko CroCop, Josh Barnett and Sergei Kharitonov in my early 20s
> Be in the Russian Mafia
> Spar with Fedor Emelianenko
> Contract Hep
> Do anything else scary that Aleksander Emelianenko does
> Hire Josef Mengele as my personal physician
> Live off McDonald’s for a month
> Walk through Chapeltown at night, naked
> Wear a Man Utd shirt out in Leeds
> Swim in shark infested waters
> Punch Aleksander Emelianenko

…Than have to sit through another game like that shower of shite.