Clitheroe 3 - Garforth Town 1

31/3/09

A night in Clitheroe is never at the top of any self respecting Yorkshiremans’ list of priorities, and Tuesday the 31st turned out to be no different for those of the travelling Garforth contingent. Despite a first half lead and early, ahem, goalkeeping brilliance, the home side were able to overcome a negative deficit and plunder three goals to earn analogous league points.

Michael Bisping winning UFC’s The Ultimate Fighter reality television show may have been the worst thing to happen to his town, because now by proxy everyone in Clitheroe is a badass. Leading centre forward and excess testosterone sufferer Anthony Johnson had unpleasant sentiments and threats to direct towards the Garforth bench and defenders, and the Clitheroe coaching staff directed verbal diatribes towards Simon Clifford in front of his wife and young daughters.

Garforth began the game with a star of their own – recent cinematic release The Damned United star Chris Hutchinson – in goal. In homage to the film, Chris played without gloves.

Town began brightly, and like a bright star faded and burned out towards the end. Duncan Williams played an astute cross-field ball early on, and a cross from the right was latched onto by Lee Askham, who ran back into the danger zone before shooting with a placed effort that was saved.

Nathan Kamara was felled by a potential leg breaker of a challenge that audibly cracked off his shins. Luckily he was unscathed. Soon after, Renshaw showed kinaesthetic intelligence in reacting to a through ball and making a last ditch tackle to prevent a one on one chance for Clith.

Clitheroe responded with several crosses flashed in towards the obviously inexperienced stand in goalkeeper, but Renshaw and Connor were equal to each high ball. One low cross found its way through, but the point blank side-foot effort was saved well by Hutchinson, who parried it to safety.

Askham made a jinking run cutting in from the left, and was tripped. Andy Hayward duly finished the penalty kick to claim a lead for the Miner’s.

After claiming a through ball well, Hutchinson was replaced by late arrival Luke Gibbons, and ended his Hall of Fame goalkeeping career without making a single mistake, or ever conceding. Bravo.

Gibbons cleared a cross with ‘the Superman punch’, and was abruptly lobbed to the far post. However, with the goal at his mercy, the Clitheroe attacked missed his header. And the ball.

The final chance of the half came from an excellent Clitheroe shot flashed low to the bottom right corner from 30 yards that missed by a foot at best. Garforth left the field a goal to the good.

Sadly, it didn’t last. Ten minutes into the second half of an (up to this point) even game, Clith forced home a scruffy, nondescript equaliser.

Clitheroe managed to nullify Town in the subsequent twenty minutes, and tested Renshaw, Connor and Fox with numerous crosses and through balls.

Duncan fed Greg Kelly with a ball over the top for the former Huddersfield man to finish with aplomb, yet his lob was nullified with a suspect flag for offside. A later Garforth attack saw a through ball from Adam Clarke intercepted before reaching Williams, yet the ball fell kindly and into the path of Kelly. Inexplicably, the linesman again flagged for offside.

The game was lost in the 73rd, when Clitheroe intelligently used their horribly sloped pitch for long balls pitched up the right wing. Given the near impossibility of the ball going out, the winger claimed one such ball and fired in a low cross that clipped off a Garforth shin (despite the celebration of Mark Sharples) and into the away net, to the delight of the home idi… support.

An innocuous and tepid shoulder block on Dave Hankin led to the award of a penalty to Clith, and the same man fired in his sides third. At 3-1 the game was lost. Still, at least we had the pleasure of visiting Clitheroe on a late Tuesday night.

Best of luck to Michael Bisping at UFC 100. And to all his friends at the Shawbridge stadium, living vicariously through his exploits, and threatening their guests. Cheers for your hospitality. It’s been emotional.