Salford City 0 - Garforth Town 0

3-10-09

Chumbawamba kicked off the day, with walk out theme I Get Knocked Down But I Get Up Again being a fitting epithet to a team with such dramatic upswings and downturns in performance levels and fortune as Garforth Town FC. The game started, with the Greater Mancunian outfit attempting to knock their visitors down for the count, the yellows looking to ‘remind their fans of the good times’, and play a game ‘to remind them of the better times’. Whose fans would be “singing, when we’re winning”? Whose set of supporters would be “drinking a whisky drink; a vodka drink, a lager drink, and a cider drink” to drown their sorrows come the end? Ninety minutes of football later in the shadow of the ‘Theatre of Dreams’, we would know the answer.

The opening exchanges did nothing to offer an indication of the answer, as the closest chance for the visitors came from strikers Thornton and Greaves chasing down Andy Robertson in the Salford goal, while the hosts offered less. A welcome addition to the game was Rhodri Giggs, now plying his trade, footballing trade, along with his more celebrated brother Ryan in Salford, though in somewhat less grandiose surroundings. In fairness to him, other than chelping at his own team-mates and sloping around in the second half, he did nothing particularly out of the ordinary to ‘bring the game into disrepute’, I believe is the politically correct, diplomatic description. Ovington and Williams swung in crosses for Town, but they were dealt with well.

John McAliskey had two very good chances for Salford, which new goalkeeper Craig <> did well to stop. The new shot stopper did his best all afternoon to ensure Tom Morgan gets a pink slip in the mail, as he was undoubtedly man of the match for his display. Garforth came close after twenty-five minutes, when Ovington put Tom Greaves through on the right channel. With the offside trap beaten and Robertson in no-mans-land, Greaves latched onto the lofted ball and his lobbed finish struck the outside of the posts elbow joint that conjoins the net and goal, just wide of the top corner.

Salford had mixed luck, with Giggs’ well taken free kick saved, but a handball in their own box escaping the notice of all officials, a bittersweet minute. Thornton and particularly Ovington came close with chances to close out the half, a low drive and a left footed shot cut across the goal and wide, respectively.

Thornton again tried his luck with a run from his own half, evading challenges and ending with a lacklustre shot. Ovington showed a turn of pace and played a ball in for Tom Claisse, who shot over. Salford shot, with Craig tipping the ball over well. The home side would have three or four shots on goal in this time.

For the rest of the game, Garforth pressed and created chances only for Salford to respond with several of their own. City arguably carved out the more memorable chances, only for the likes of Giggs, Rouse and McAliskey to miss. Though in the second half they undoubtedly came closest with the scant goal scoring opportunities, from the official report in the Salford Star, you would think Garforth had been spanked like a Mirko Cro Cop opponent in a Japanese freak show mismatch. As for the lamentations of The Salford Star, I respond with this; Sors salutis, et virtutis, michi nunc contraria… mecum omnes plangite! Carl Orff, O Fortuna. Relying on the overuse of ‘F bombs’ and county insults like the Salford Star did is so uncultured, even for the red rose...

So the points were shared equally, between our lovable hosts and us ‘yellow shirted Yorkshire ****ing ****ers’. As fate would have it, lager was the beverage of choice, though the miserable Mancunians undoubtedly resorted to the whisky drinks, the vodka drinks, the lager drinks and the cider drinks in lamentation, to vent about the match and to remind them of the better times. Chumbawamba, Tubthumping. A song Salford City use pre-match, and would do well to remember in the aftermath of such a game after the events conclusion.

"Don't cry for me, next door (county) neighbours..."

Garforth next play against Chorley at home on Tuesday night, then Trafford away on Saturday. Kick-offs will be at 7:45pm and 3pm respectively. If we get knocked down, we will get up again, yeah they're never gonna keep us down....

'Danny Boy': yellow shirted ****ing tubthumper, whisky/vodka/lager/cider drinker, and proud Yorkshireman.