5-12-09
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly is probably best known for a stupid theme that people whistle when thinking about cowboys and Indians, pistols at dawn and maybe as a spoof for a fighter staredown, but on Saturday Garforth and their bilingual visitors actually displayed all attributes. The good – Town dominating the second half, winning it two-nil, striker Greaves bagging a brace, et cetera. The bad – Town allegedly conceding four goals in a period of madness. I cannot say for sure – I blinked. The ugly – Colwyn’s entire team. No, I keed, I keed.
After forty-five minutes of comme ci, comme ça, Town went to work. One can only speculate what brought about the change – a soundtrack of Republica’s Ready To Go and Chumbawamba Tubthumping, stanozolol injections and a crate of red bull perhaps – maybe a Gunnery Sgt. Hartman team talk (you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary). Who knows? Whatever is was, it worked, as they bossed the second. Greaves hit the post with a header following a cross from the right, a flank that Chris Ovington caused consistent problems on for the visitors. His speed was evident in outpacing full backs, and though he might be small, so was Igor Vovchanchyn. Load up the interwebz and check out that savage…
Colwyn almost scored following an attacker’s jinking run, but the shot was cut wide of the post. Ovington almost claimed an assist in the subsequent attack, sending a ball in from the right channel just outside the box, but a lunging challenge scuppered the chance. Soon after, with a yellow shirted player down, the Welshmen obstinately refused to show sportsmanship and put the ball out of play. One day these men will play fair. But until that day, they are pukes. They are the lowest forms of life on earth. They are not even hum…
Garforth drew first blood of the second (not John.J style – ‘in town you’re the law… out here it’s me’) when a ball up to Greaves caught in the churned ground. Taking full advantage of the conditions, Greaves slid in before the advancing keeper to send the ball past him into the empty net. 1-0 in the second half, daddyo.
In less time than it takes Naseem Hamed to get to the ring during his entrances, Greaves had doubled his tally. Ovington played him in when he sent the ball across to the right channel, Greaves evaded the challenge, cut in and cut back his finish to the near post. As the fans sang, easy, easy.
Garforth clearly didn’t lose this game; they just ran out of time to win it in. It was a happier set of fans come the end, as to be honest, there is something in human nature that makes us failure parasites (hence the second half attendance of even the most disappointed of us). Yet they ended well. In dominating the second half, Town showed what they could and should have done in the entirety of the game, and earned a moral victory. Sport often draws connotations with war, and the metaphors used in this country’s ridiculously shabby, uninteresting, unentertaining sports journalism are common, clichéd and endless. They have a point though – Colwyn facing Town in the second half resembled the formerly raging Trojans fleeing as Achilles and the Myrmidons re-entered the fray, sending them scattering to the four winds. And as the Trojans could tell you, in war it is not who is rampant early, it is those who finish strongly and decisively. Do the right thing, UniBond league; one-point-five points will come in handy before the storms of winter…
Trust and Believe.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Garforth Town 2 - Rossendale United 1
21-11-09
The best thing about being down is that, barring disaster, you make it back up. The best thing about a dire performance is that it often results in immediate improvement, a positive backlash. The best thing about a losing streak is that it usually snaps. And against Rossendale, the good followed the bad, immediate improvement followed a dire performance, and the two losses in Ashton Under Lyne against the table toppers were wiped away by a win against a Rossendale United outfit bolstered by mid-season reinforcements, with several new signings appearing for the capable side who maintained parity with the aforementioned Curzon Ashton for ninety minutes only ten days ago.
Rossendale opened the scoring with one sixth of the game gone; Shaun Williams putting his name into the internet annals of unibondleague.com history for a bit more wasted bandwidth, when he scored with a heavily deflected shot. While neither side claimed any real superiority in the first, let it be known that Garforth gave the ball away eighty-eight times. Bear that in mind.
Though the second half performance eclipsed that of the one that preceded it, Garforth did at least ‘draw the first’, when the in-form Tom Greaves added to his seasonal tally with a header from close range.
As good quality often follows the dire, now came a half in which Town conceded the ball forty-one times. In the eventuality of defending a lead, which subsequently happened, this includes long balls, clearances and the usual associated gameplay of a one-goal-lead game in the dying minutes, a feature the first half did not boast. In reality, the second half figure would presumably be in the region of thirty. Markedly improved from the first half statistics of eighty-eight, perhaps resulting from tactics or team talks.
The wind and relentless rain picked up, though the typically well maintained pitch held up as ever; unlike most others at this level that would have deteriorated into a 100 by 60 no-mans-land of sludge, better suited to making trenches either side of to shoot ze Germans from.
The grass may have held, but aerial balls and even throws were claimed by the wind, serving as an unpleasant preview to the action expected through the winter months in the cold. To be a football fan…
Speaking of the Germans, with only nein minutes (budum-ch) of the second half gone, Nathan Kamara headed home from an out-swinging corner to give Garforth the lead. His brother Chris returned to the starting line-up after a two-year spell at Goole in East Yorkshire, following a failed trial at the Dog and Duck in Wigan.
Garforth held out well, and could and probably should have increased their winning margin. Man of the Match Chris Ovington curled in a peach from the right wing for Greaves, but the striker weighted his volleyed shot too heavily, and sent the ball over.
Greaves claimed the ball in an advanced position up the left channel soon after, and laid off midfielder Duncan Williams. The dependable youngster squeezed through a ball for Ovington, but unfortunately the goalkeeper proved sufficiently alert to race out and clear before the winger arrived.
And so Town win, moving onwards to a packed Christmas schedule that hopefully can see the side replicate their promotion winning winter runs that saw rapid ascension up the league ladders in 04/05, and 06/07. Such a succession of routs would be welcome in the winter months.
The best thing about being down is that, barring disaster, you make it back up. The best thing about a dire performance is that it often results in immediate improvement, a positive backlash. The best thing about a losing streak is that it usually snaps. And against Rossendale, the good followed the bad, immediate improvement followed a dire performance, and the two losses in Ashton Under Lyne against the table toppers were wiped away by a win against a Rossendale United outfit bolstered by mid-season reinforcements, with several new signings appearing for the capable side who maintained parity with the aforementioned Curzon Ashton for ninety minutes only ten days ago.
Rossendale opened the scoring with one sixth of the game gone; Shaun Williams putting his name into the internet annals of unibondleague.com history for a bit more wasted bandwidth, when he scored with a heavily deflected shot. While neither side claimed any real superiority in the first, let it be known that Garforth gave the ball away eighty-eight times. Bear that in mind.
Though the second half performance eclipsed that of the one that preceded it, Garforth did at least ‘draw the first’, when the in-form Tom Greaves added to his seasonal tally with a header from close range.
As good quality often follows the dire, now came a half in which Town conceded the ball forty-one times. In the eventuality of defending a lead, which subsequently happened, this includes long balls, clearances and the usual associated gameplay of a one-goal-lead game in the dying minutes, a feature the first half did not boast. In reality, the second half figure would presumably be in the region of thirty. Markedly improved from the first half statistics of eighty-eight, perhaps resulting from tactics or team talks.
The wind and relentless rain picked up, though the typically well maintained pitch held up as ever; unlike most others at this level that would have deteriorated into a 100 by 60 no-mans-land of sludge, better suited to making trenches either side of to shoot ze Germans from.
The grass may have held, but aerial balls and even throws were claimed by the wind, serving as an unpleasant preview to the action expected through the winter months in the cold. To be a football fan…
Speaking of the Germans, with only nein minutes (budum-ch) of the second half gone, Nathan Kamara headed home from an out-swinging corner to give Garforth the lead. His brother Chris returned to the starting line-up after a two-year spell at Goole in East Yorkshire, following a failed trial at the Dog and Duck in Wigan.
Garforth held out well, and could and probably should have increased their winning margin. Man of the Match Chris Ovington curled in a peach from the right wing for Greaves, but the striker weighted his volleyed shot too heavily, and sent the ball over.
Greaves claimed the ball in an advanced position up the left channel soon after, and laid off midfielder Duncan Williams. The dependable youngster squeezed through a ball for Ovington, but unfortunately the goalkeeper proved sufficiently alert to race out and clear before the winger arrived.
And so Town win, moving onwards to a packed Christmas schedule that hopefully can see the side replicate their promotion winning winter runs that saw rapid ascension up the league ladders in 04/05, and 06/07. Such a succession of routs would be welcome in the winter months.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Garforth Town 1 - Skelmersdale United 3
7/11
Are they Scouse? Or are they Manc? So sang the home fans… Actually they didn’t, as an early goal sank Town from the beginning, both players and fans, a deathblow from which the yellow and blues never recovered. Skelmersdale have been unlucky in recent years with promotion proving elusive, but put on their 07/08 form yesterday that saw them atop the table for the majority of that season. Three goals to one clinched this match for them.
Garforth were watertight for 59 seconds, before the sucker punch that took the jam right out of their donut. Another Skelmersdale attempt on goal came from a lob that Morgan saved, a third from a poorly struck shot.
Town had their share of the scant first half chances; Ovington chipped a ball for Fidel Mholo, who cut inside. Sadly, his shot curved the wrong way. Minutes later, a soft free kick was conceded by Town on the right channel, twenty yards from goal. The low curl was saved, the rebound converted by the advanced Mark Houghton. Can a rebound be offside in the new laws? I can’t quite remember.
Nathan Kamara threaded a ball through that wasn’t latched onto, and later Town had an excellent passing interchange between several players from defence to midfield before a through ball was slightly overhit to Greaves. The play drew applause. While the goalkeeper claimed the ball, this was a rare showing of the potential in the side, and a shame it was that it would not be repeated more often in this game.
Town improved in the second. Though Skelmersdale remained a solid outfit, Garforth harried and pressed more, Claisse and Williams toiled in midfield and Thornton and Greaves caused more problems. Darren sent a ball up the left wing to Tom, who cut in and squeezed a ball through for Ovington. Unfortunately, as Chris’ run went one way, the ball was sent the over. Still, the counter attack showed intent.
Even more unfortunately though, the goal that United scored thereafter showed even more intent. A well weighted, curled ball to the left channel caught an offside trap cold, and the chance was finished well, slid under Morgan for the formidable three-goal deficit.
Dignity was clawed back in the form of a consolation goal that rewarded the improvement of industry; a corner was cleared, and Claisse enabled a one on one opportunity for Tom Greaves, who finished low with a cutback to the left post to give Town slim hopes, with over twenty minutes left to play.
The other Tom almost found himself on the score sheet, as Mr Claisse tested the agility of the Skem shot-stopper with a lifted top corner effort from twenty yards. The midfielder saw his shot saved well, but won applause and a corner.
Garforth were unable to further make a dent in the solid defence of Skelmersdale United, who cross the Pennines with another valuable three points. Town have played better, but a lot worse, and there are positives juxtaposed in with the negatives as is ever the case in the strange world of football.
Are they Scouse? Or are they Manc? So sang the home fans… Actually they didn’t, as an early goal sank Town from the beginning, both players and fans, a deathblow from which the yellow and blues never recovered. Skelmersdale have been unlucky in recent years with promotion proving elusive, but put on their 07/08 form yesterday that saw them atop the table for the majority of that season. Three goals to one clinched this match for them.
Garforth were watertight for 59 seconds, before the sucker punch that took the jam right out of their donut. Another Skelmersdale attempt on goal came from a lob that Morgan saved, a third from a poorly struck shot.
Town had their share of the scant first half chances; Ovington chipped a ball for Fidel Mholo, who cut inside. Sadly, his shot curved the wrong way. Minutes later, a soft free kick was conceded by Town on the right channel, twenty yards from goal. The low curl was saved, the rebound converted by the advanced Mark Houghton. Can a rebound be offside in the new laws? I can’t quite remember.
Nathan Kamara threaded a ball through that wasn’t latched onto, and later Town had an excellent passing interchange between several players from defence to midfield before a through ball was slightly overhit to Greaves. The play drew applause. While the goalkeeper claimed the ball, this was a rare showing of the potential in the side, and a shame it was that it would not be repeated more often in this game.
Town improved in the second. Though Skelmersdale remained a solid outfit, Garforth harried and pressed more, Claisse and Williams toiled in midfield and Thornton and Greaves caused more problems. Darren sent a ball up the left wing to Tom, who cut in and squeezed a ball through for Ovington. Unfortunately, as Chris’ run went one way, the ball was sent the over. Still, the counter attack showed intent.
Even more unfortunately though, the goal that United scored thereafter showed even more intent. A well weighted, curled ball to the left channel caught an offside trap cold, and the chance was finished well, slid under Morgan for the formidable three-goal deficit.
Dignity was clawed back in the form of a consolation goal that rewarded the improvement of industry; a corner was cleared, and Claisse enabled a one on one opportunity for Tom Greaves, who finished low with a cutback to the left post to give Town slim hopes, with over twenty minutes left to play.
The other Tom almost found himself on the score sheet, as Mr Claisse tested the agility of the Skem shot-stopper with a lifted top corner effort from twenty yards. The midfielder saw his shot saved well, but won applause and a corner.
Garforth were unable to further make a dent in the solid defence of Skelmersdale United, who cross the Pennines with another valuable three points. Town have played better, but a lot worse, and there are positives juxtaposed in with the negatives as is ever the case in the strange world of football.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Garforth Town 2 - Lancaster City 3
24-10
Enjoying the hospitality of Garforth Town today were Lancaster City; big cheese and county town of the historical enemy of Gods own county, Lanca-shy-oh. And the Red Rose inhabitants who graced our ground today certainly hadn’t forgotten that irrelevant footnote in the sands of time, and they were ‘top, main lads’ to boot. Frightening, menacing individuals, champions of battle and gods of combat, clearly. However, this is 2009, and now I have the luxury of insulting them from behind the safety of a computer screen. Heard the term ‘keyboard warrior’ before – you disgusting scrotes?
Haha, just joking, I really enjoyed the unfounded accusations of paedophilia, animal molestation and of excessive masturbation levelled at members of the Garforth staff by grown men shouting in a group and pumping their fists joyfully into the air while intimidating middle-aged to elderly fans. Cashback!
Several shots were struck early, and proved that any strike sliding across the wet grass would be difficult for either goalkeeper to deal with. This would come to haunt Town later in the game.
Darren Thornton came close with a free kick, a corner winning effort. That corner sailed over to the far side of the box, and Fidel Mholo did the rest with a side-footed volley back across goal. The attempted block of a defender only sent the ball up into the roof of the net, and the White Rose drew first blood from the red.
Lancaster sang on undeterred, with so much failure I cannot find the words to describe it. One was a song about how ‘lanky’ a famous female singer was (think about it) and another was to proclaim love for ‘the Blues’, who go ‘marching in’ somewhere or other. Maybe ‘the blues’ are T.A. I looked at the pitch in confusion, before looking down on the bald spots and dandruff only feet away from me as I remarked to those legends of the terrace; “You’re in white, lads.”
Lancaster regained parity with what Assistant Manager Billy deemed ‘a soft goal’, as a converted header helped City claw their way back into the game. In the dying stages of the half however, Thornton claimed the ball in the far left corner, brought it inside to unleash a well-struck strike to the top right that clinched the first half at least for Garforth.
The Red Rose visitors proved to be in the ascendancy though, and claimed two goals in quick succession that Assistant Manager Billy deemed to be ‘soft’. He was right. However, soft though they may have bee… definitely were, Town now faced an uphill battle to regain both parity and the lead that had been surrendered twice.
Thornton almost added to his goal tally when he sidestepped the goalkeeper and shot, but his cutback effort was blocked on the line, as was his impeded lay off for Greaves.
Garforth tried but could not further penetrate the resistance of beloved Lancaster, and the Bl… whites, scurried home with the points in the bag. I can’t wait to see the City fans at their place though…. so I can run away screaming.
However, you’re a city of 140k people, playing in the UniBond league, that’s fucking pathetic.
*Runs away*
Fear not Garforth; at least we are Yorkshire, Gods own County, beloved of Zeus, and as such God smiles down upon us unlike on those Red Rose heathens, pagans and reprobates.
Yeah, PEACE…
Enjoying the hospitality of Garforth Town today were Lancaster City; big cheese and county town of the historical enemy of Gods own county, Lanca-shy-oh. And the Red Rose inhabitants who graced our ground today certainly hadn’t forgotten that irrelevant footnote in the sands of time, and they were ‘top, main lads’ to boot. Frightening, menacing individuals, champions of battle and gods of combat, clearly. However, this is 2009, and now I have the luxury of insulting them from behind the safety of a computer screen. Heard the term ‘keyboard warrior’ before – you disgusting scrotes?
Haha, just joking, I really enjoyed the unfounded accusations of paedophilia, animal molestation and of excessive masturbation levelled at members of the Garforth staff by grown men shouting in a group and pumping their fists joyfully into the air while intimidating middle-aged to elderly fans. Cashback!
Several shots were struck early, and proved that any strike sliding across the wet grass would be difficult for either goalkeeper to deal with. This would come to haunt Town later in the game.
Darren Thornton came close with a free kick, a corner winning effort. That corner sailed over to the far side of the box, and Fidel Mholo did the rest with a side-footed volley back across goal. The attempted block of a defender only sent the ball up into the roof of the net, and the White Rose drew first blood from the red.
Lancaster sang on undeterred, with so much failure I cannot find the words to describe it. One was a song about how ‘lanky’ a famous female singer was (think about it) and another was to proclaim love for ‘the Blues’, who go ‘marching in’ somewhere or other. Maybe ‘the blues’ are T.A. I looked at the pitch in confusion, before looking down on the bald spots and dandruff only feet away from me as I remarked to those legends of the terrace; “You’re in white, lads.”
Lancaster regained parity with what Assistant Manager Billy deemed ‘a soft goal’, as a converted header helped City claw their way back into the game. In the dying stages of the half however, Thornton claimed the ball in the far left corner, brought it inside to unleash a well-struck strike to the top right that clinched the first half at least for Garforth.
The Red Rose visitors proved to be in the ascendancy though, and claimed two goals in quick succession that Assistant Manager Billy deemed to be ‘soft’. He was right. However, soft though they may have bee… definitely were, Town now faced an uphill battle to regain both parity and the lead that had been surrendered twice.
Thornton almost added to his goal tally when he sidestepped the goalkeeper and shot, but his cutback effort was blocked on the line, as was his impeded lay off for Greaves.
Garforth tried but could not further penetrate the resistance of beloved Lancaster, and the Bl… whites, scurried home with the points in the bag. I can’t wait to see the City fans at their place though…. so I can run away screaming.
However, you’re a city of 140k people, playing in the UniBond league, that’s fucking pathetic.
*Runs away*
Fear not Garforth; at least we are Yorkshire, Gods own County, beloved of Zeus, and as such God smiles down upon us unlike on those Red Rose heathens, pagans and reprobates.
Yeah, PEACE…
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Garforth Town 0 - Leeds United AFC 1
21-10
Achilles had Hector. Clarice Starling had Buffalo Bill. Ali had Frazier. Man-ches-toh Uni’ed have Man-ches-toh Ci’y – even though only one team hails from the city itself. Leeds United AFC have never had a local team to play that could define local sport, and where the supporters are all from the same place, whether to meet and greet with smiles and handshakes or to clash with the violence of sporting fanaticism.
Under Simon Clifford, Garforth have strived to raise their own status with ambition befitting of larger and more lucrative clubs. Two promotions and a slew of publicity, not to mention ambitious statements, lofty goals and a charismatic owner/manager, and the non-leaguers forced their way onto the footballing map. In time, one can hope for a Garforth versus Leeds fixture in a league setting – at least if one is a Garforth supporter…
As it was, the two sides met tonight in the White Rose version of Ci’y versus Uni’ed. Given that both clubs rested first team players, that the game was a friendly and the unfortunate and most important fact in that Garforth ply their trade five leagues below the prestigious Peacocks, it could hardly be described in the aforementioned Hector and Achilles metaphorical terminology, yet with a close game graced by only a single goal, nor did the affair resemble the aforementioned Starling and Bill scenario – the hunter able to pick apart and destroy their rival at will…
Leeds fielded a young squad, and the match served as experience for the blooded youngsters, one of whom was Aidan White; graduate of Clifford’s Leeds Brazilian Soccer School. Garforth had themselves played less than 24 hours earlier, and their own line-up was a fresh look outfit. It was further altered at half time when their captain Brett Renshaw was withdrawn with a foot injury sustained in the defeat in Ossett the previous night.
The Mighty Whites were the stronger team initially, looking sharp and avoiding getting drawn into a long ball game. It would be Garforth who would create the first goal-scoring opportunities. Tom Greaves tried his luck with a run down the middle but was impeded. Garforth struck the first shot in anger, which sailed over. United replied with a curled ball across the midfield to Nathan Turner, who redirected the ball well with his head to run for goal. Town sweeper Milton Turner did well in covering the ground, stealing the ball and clearing it to safety.
Fidel Mholo broke a record, impressive given his short career. He is now officially recognised at having his name mispronounced more times than any other player in the history of football. That includes Greek football, Popodopadoolios and all. He also gave an eye-catching display in the first half, pace evident as he burst down the field on 33. Unfortunately, his ball through to Greaves caught up in the striker’s feet.
Leeds came closest in the half when Turner was put through with only Ellison to beat. However, his shot was at a stretch, and the cutback overlong; the ball flew wide.
Greaves had one final effort as the half came to a close, a half that had the welcome introduction of two linesmen who were not afflicted by the usual relentless, constant ‘Heil Hitler’ syndrome that too many officials seem to have at the sniff of potential offside. One liner this year shot his outstretched arm out more times than Heinrich Himmler did in 1938 – tonight was blissfully free of that in this friendly game.
The second was not graced with many clear-cut chances, but it did see the match winning goal, a top corner shot that vindicated the entrance fee alone. Joe McCann had a shot well saved from point blank range by Ellison, and Leeds were in the ascendancy, with Garforth clinging to parity. The killer blow was struck with only ten minutes to play, as Josh Falkingham fired a net buster from twenty yards that sailed into the top right corner to give Leeds the lead.
United saw the game out, and so ended a fixture refreshingly played with no real malice, bickering, niggly challenges or the stereotypical footballers handbags non-fighting ‘brawls’ that mar so many games with their effeminate aura. It was a friendly game, and it did what it said on the tin.
Leeds next play at Millwall’s Den, and I offer prayers for the travelling fans that they don’t meet a ‘naughty, double nasty, tasty, dirty bunch’, and that they avoid getting bushwhacked in Bermondsey. Any Leeds fan, however, who managed to lay into Danny Dyer and his bunch of ‘naughty, rude mates’ in order to get onto ‘The Weal Footbawl Factowhees’ gets my utmost respect. Garforth face a ‘pound for pound’ equally daunting visit from Lancaster City (sarcasm y’all) who speak like Mancs and hate Garforth with a passion befitting of the Red Rose.
Keep Tubthumping. Peace.
Achilles had Hector. Clarice Starling had Buffalo Bill. Ali had Frazier. Man-ches-toh Uni’ed have Man-ches-toh Ci’y – even though only one team hails from the city itself. Leeds United AFC have never had a local team to play that could define local sport, and where the supporters are all from the same place, whether to meet and greet with smiles and handshakes or to clash with the violence of sporting fanaticism.
Under Simon Clifford, Garforth have strived to raise their own status with ambition befitting of larger and more lucrative clubs. Two promotions and a slew of publicity, not to mention ambitious statements, lofty goals and a charismatic owner/manager, and the non-leaguers forced their way onto the footballing map. In time, one can hope for a Garforth versus Leeds fixture in a league setting – at least if one is a Garforth supporter…
As it was, the two sides met tonight in the White Rose version of Ci’y versus Uni’ed. Given that both clubs rested first team players, that the game was a friendly and the unfortunate and most important fact in that Garforth ply their trade five leagues below the prestigious Peacocks, it could hardly be described in the aforementioned Hector and Achilles metaphorical terminology, yet with a close game graced by only a single goal, nor did the affair resemble the aforementioned Starling and Bill scenario – the hunter able to pick apart and destroy their rival at will…
Leeds fielded a young squad, and the match served as experience for the blooded youngsters, one of whom was Aidan White; graduate of Clifford’s Leeds Brazilian Soccer School. Garforth had themselves played less than 24 hours earlier, and their own line-up was a fresh look outfit. It was further altered at half time when their captain Brett Renshaw was withdrawn with a foot injury sustained in the defeat in Ossett the previous night.
The Mighty Whites were the stronger team initially, looking sharp and avoiding getting drawn into a long ball game. It would be Garforth who would create the first goal-scoring opportunities. Tom Greaves tried his luck with a run down the middle but was impeded. Garforth struck the first shot in anger, which sailed over. United replied with a curled ball across the midfield to Nathan Turner, who redirected the ball well with his head to run for goal. Town sweeper Milton Turner did well in covering the ground, stealing the ball and clearing it to safety.
Fidel Mholo broke a record, impressive given his short career. He is now officially recognised at having his name mispronounced more times than any other player in the history of football. That includes Greek football, Popodopadoolios and all. He also gave an eye-catching display in the first half, pace evident as he burst down the field on 33. Unfortunately, his ball through to Greaves caught up in the striker’s feet.
Leeds came closest in the half when Turner was put through with only Ellison to beat. However, his shot was at a stretch, and the cutback overlong; the ball flew wide.
Greaves had one final effort as the half came to a close, a half that had the welcome introduction of two linesmen who were not afflicted by the usual relentless, constant ‘Heil Hitler’ syndrome that too many officials seem to have at the sniff of potential offside. One liner this year shot his outstretched arm out more times than Heinrich Himmler did in 1938 – tonight was blissfully free of that in this friendly game.
The second was not graced with many clear-cut chances, but it did see the match winning goal, a top corner shot that vindicated the entrance fee alone. Joe McCann had a shot well saved from point blank range by Ellison, and Leeds were in the ascendancy, with Garforth clinging to parity. The killer blow was struck with only ten minutes to play, as Josh Falkingham fired a net buster from twenty yards that sailed into the top right corner to give Leeds the lead.
United saw the game out, and so ended a fixture refreshingly played with no real malice, bickering, niggly challenges or the stereotypical footballers handbags non-fighting ‘brawls’ that mar so many games with their effeminate aura. It was a friendly game, and it did what it said on the tin.
Leeds next play at Millwall’s Den, and I offer prayers for the travelling fans that they don’t meet a ‘naughty, double nasty, tasty, dirty bunch’, and that they avoid getting bushwhacked in Bermondsey. Any Leeds fan, however, who managed to lay into Danny Dyer and his bunch of ‘naughty, rude mates’ in order to get onto ‘The Weal Footbawl Factowhees’ gets my utmost respect. Garforth face a ‘pound for pound’ equally daunting visit from Lancaster City (sarcasm y’all) who speak like Mancs and hate Garforth with a passion befitting of the Red Rose.
Keep Tubthumping. Peace.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Garforth Town 0 - AFC Field.... Fylde 3
17-10-09
Blackpool is a part of the Lancastrian coastal plain of Fylde, and fittingly it would be our visitors AFC Fylde that illuminated today’s game of football with all three of its goals. In Scandinavian, Fylde means ‘field’, the name hence originating from Viking invasions, and in today’s tussle at the Genix Healthcare stadium, their football team were sadly able to ‘field’ players who outplayed our own in an open game, but one in which few clear cut chances were fashioned. Cup football can be an illegitimate son…
Fylde opened the scoring early, a neat turn and shot from Mark Wane, and Town were fighting an uphill battle thenceforth against more disciplined troops. One noted tactic was the use of legal strength – vigorousness within the boundaries of the rules. Maybe the endless scrapping between Yorkshire and Lancashire day-trippers in Blackpool has toughened them up. Regardless, Fylde changed their colours from blue to all-white in the summer of 2007 in order to mimic Leeds United, and so it would be that Wane’s goal earned them victory against the second most prestigious football club in the Leeds area.
Tom Greaves gave an industrious display, fashioning several chances for himself despite close defensive attention. The most noteworthy occurred with a third of the game gone, when a lifted through ball on thirty minutes allowed him to lob the goalkeeper. Sadly, the striker was deemed to be offside when the ball was played, by another linesman who loves to play ‘you put your right arm in, your right arm out, in out, in out, sh….” No comment.
Greaves was put through again, for another Heil Hitler salute… sorry, enthusiastic linesman’s flagging motion, to halt his progress. A subsequent move saw Harding play Ovington down the left channel, and the young winger cut inside before spraying it out to Williams on the right. Duncan’s cross eluded all.
The second began slowly, and it was not until almost the hour mark that a shot was struck in anger. Greaves worked his way from the left to the edge of the semi-circle, and cut his shot narrowly wide.
Several passing interchanges from both sides summed the game up; one-twos, overlaps and movement, with one player’s weak or mis-hit touch breaking down the whole move. Thornton came on; signalling Town’s attacking intent, and the substitute made determined runs and harassed defenders.
A Claisse ball to Greaves saw the striker exchange a one-two with Thornton before shooting, but the shot slid wide. Immediately after, a quick counter attack saw Fylde get behind the Town defence, and Wane added his second with a finish to the left of Ellison.
Greaves shot across goal following a long ball up from Claisse, and a nice attack involving several players saw Thornton cross for Fidel Mholo at the back post. Not only was the youngster unable to score, his name was mispronounced in the announcements for the 269th time on record.
Town could not pierce the back Fylde of Field, and Field added a third. The familiar looking Richie Allen, who either has a doppelganger or has played against Garforth before for someone else, scored a carbon copy finish to the one that had preceded it, and Town left the Fylde dejected after their hardworking display could not make a dent in a motivated Field, who advance to the 1st round of the FA Trophy.
Garforth though, shall not sling insults the way the Salford Star did just because a War of the Roses rival beat them at home. No slurs from the dignified white rose, unlike some. Then again, any club that employs Rhodri Giggs….
Congratulations to Field. See you in Blackpool for a curry, eight pints and a couple of disco biscuits….
Blackpool is a part of the Lancastrian coastal plain of Fylde, and fittingly it would be our visitors AFC Fylde that illuminated today’s game of football with all three of its goals. In Scandinavian, Fylde means ‘field’, the name hence originating from Viking invasions, and in today’s tussle at the Genix Healthcare stadium, their football team were sadly able to ‘field’ players who outplayed our own in an open game, but one in which few clear cut chances were fashioned. Cup football can be an illegitimate son…
Fylde opened the scoring early, a neat turn and shot from Mark Wane, and Town were fighting an uphill battle thenceforth against more disciplined troops. One noted tactic was the use of legal strength – vigorousness within the boundaries of the rules. Maybe the endless scrapping between Yorkshire and Lancashire day-trippers in Blackpool has toughened them up. Regardless, Fylde changed their colours from blue to all-white in the summer of 2007 in order to mimic Leeds United, and so it would be that Wane’s goal earned them victory against the second most prestigious football club in the Leeds area.
Tom Greaves gave an industrious display, fashioning several chances for himself despite close defensive attention. The most noteworthy occurred with a third of the game gone, when a lifted through ball on thirty minutes allowed him to lob the goalkeeper. Sadly, the striker was deemed to be offside when the ball was played, by another linesman who loves to play ‘you put your right arm in, your right arm out, in out, in out, sh….” No comment.
Greaves was put through again, for another Heil Hitler salute… sorry, enthusiastic linesman’s flagging motion, to halt his progress. A subsequent move saw Harding play Ovington down the left channel, and the young winger cut inside before spraying it out to Williams on the right. Duncan’s cross eluded all.
The second began slowly, and it was not until almost the hour mark that a shot was struck in anger. Greaves worked his way from the left to the edge of the semi-circle, and cut his shot narrowly wide.
Several passing interchanges from both sides summed the game up; one-twos, overlaps and movement, with one player’s weak or mis-hit touch breaking down the whole move. Thornton came on; signalling Town’s attacking intent, and the substitute made determined runs and harassed defenders.
A Claisse ball to Greaves saw the striker exchange a one-two with Thornton before shooting, but the shot slid wide. Immediately after, a quick counter attack saw Fylde get behind the Town defence, and Wane added his second with a finish to the left of Ellison.
Greaves shot across goal following a long ball up from Claisse, and a nice attack involving several players saw Thornton cross for Fidel Mholo at the back post. Not only was the youngster unable to score, his name was mispronounced in the announcements for the 269th time on record.
Town could not pierce the back Fylde of Field, and Field added a third. The familiar looking Richie Allen, who either has a doppelganger or has played against Garforth before for someone else, scored a carbon copy finish to the one that had preceded it, and Town left the Fylde dejected after their hardworking display could not make a dent in a motivated Field, who advance to the 1st round of the FA Trophy.
Garforth though, shall not sling insults the way the Salford Star did just because a War of the Roses rival beat them at home. No slurs from the dignified white rose, unlike some. Then again, any club that employs Rhodri Giggs….
Congratulations to Field. See you in Blackpool for a curry, eight pints and a couple of disco biscuits….
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Garforth Town 3 - Harrogate Railway 2
13-10-09
Class warfare ensued on the football pitch, as the upstanding folk of Harrogate came to Garforth’s mining village for the first round of the UniBond President’s Cup. That is the name given to this competition, and the second half of this particular match was spectacle enough for a king, as Garforth almost snatched defeat from the jaws of victory only to inch ahead in the dying moments of the game. 3-2 is cited along with 4-3 as one of the best score-lines a game of association football can have, and it was easy to see why, as both sets of fans witnessed uneasy, demoralising and relieving moments alike as the outcome seemingly teetered back and forth between two sides who both showed some dextrous football at times…
Darren Thornton burst forwards early doors and tried his luck with a chip, which was tipped over by Harrogate shot stopper Jordan Yorath. The resulting corner fell kindly for Liam Ormsby to convert, after only a hundred or so seconds of play.
The posh visitors replied strongly, with a slid shot sliding wide, and a good ball played into the box only for the chance to be squandered. The always dependable (barring the odd moment of gratuitous violence) Brett Renshaw, who defended well, played a lovely ball up for Fidel Mholo, the man whose name has been misspelt and mispronounced more times than any other player in the history of English football. Fidel claimed the ball well but was flagged offside, by the increasingly flag-happy linesman.
Thornton suffered from the man’s rampant right arm, as it once more decreed that the striker’s run was from an offside position. After Darren converted the chance, he was cautioned for ‘kicking the ball away’. As much as I would love to point fingers and criticise ineptitude, stupidity and lunacy, I will not comment on the referee’s decision in this instance.
Substitute Tom Greaves almost forced his way through into a one on one, but was impeded at the last, after fine interchanges in the midfield. A corner soon followed though, was taken short, and the subsequent cross from Thornton was converted in the easiest fashion from the far post, Duncan Williams grateful for the gift. Pin point cross, point blank range, header, goal, done and dusted. 2-0 on the hour.
Garforth could not quite kill the game off though, and so it was on 78 that the in form Craig Ellison injured himself. The keeper did well to make several saves, but the inevitable happened with all Garforth substitutes used up. A high ball that Ellison could not contest, and a horrible ricochet later, and the Miner’s were level in a game they had all but won after nearly eighty minutes of comfort.
Two things happened. A promising Harrogate attack was deemed offside, by the vastly improved linesman, and the ensuing break from Garforth saw Thornton released into space down the middle. Heading from right to left, he in turn released fellow substitute Christopher Jones, and the youngster’s left footed finish was true. Garforth snatched victory from the snapping jaws of possible defeat that had ripped surefire victory away from the Colegate smiling mouth of a comfortable win in the first place… ahem, or in other terms, unfortunate injuries looked to have doomed the match, but as it were they only served to provide a tensely entertaining conclusion to it. The Miner’s march on, after knocking the Railwaymen off the tracks…
Town progress, and face more cup fixtures on the hunt for glory in the coming winter months as the cold spectre of darkness looms over us all.
"Exit light… enter night. Take my hand… we’re off to never Neverland…"
Class warfare ensued on the football pitch, as the upstanding folk of Harrogate came to Garforth’s mining village for the first round of the UniBond President’s Cup. That is the name given to this competition, and the second half of this particular match was spectacle enough for a king, as Garforth almost snatched defeat from the jaws of victory only to inch ahead in the dying moments of the game. 3-2 is cited along with 4-3 as one of the best score-lines a game of association football can have, and it was easy to see why, as both sets of fans witnessed uneasy, demoralising and relieving moments alike as the outcome seemingly teetered back and forth between two sides who both showed some dextrous football at times…
Darren Thornton burst forwards early doors and tried his luck with a chip, which was tipped over by Harrogate shot stopper Jordan Yorath. The resulting corner fell kindly for Liam Ormsby to convert, after only a hundred or so seconds of play.
The posh visitors replied strongly, with a slid shot sliding wide, and a good ball played into the box only for the chance to be squandered. The always dependable (barring the odd moment of gratuitous violence) Brett Renshaw, who defended well, played a lovely ball up for Fidel Mholo, the man whose name has been misspelt and mispronounced more times than any other player in the history of English football. Fidel claimed the ball well but was flagged offside, by the increasingly flag-happy linesman.
Thornton suffered from the man’s rampant right arm, as it once more decreed that the striker’s run was from an offside position. After Darren converted the chance, he was cautioned for ‘kicking the ball away’. As much as I would love to point fingers and criticise ineptitude, stupidity and lunacy, I will not comment on the referee’s decision in this instance.
Substitute Tom Greaves almost forced his way through into a one on one, but was impeded at the last, after fine interchanges in the midfield. A corner soon followed though, was taken short, and the subsequent cross from Thornton was converted in the easiest fashion from the far post, Duncan Williams grateful for the gift. Pin point cross, point blank range, header, goal, done and dusted. 2-0 on the hour.
Garforth could not quite kill the game off though, and so it was on 78 that the in form Craig Ellison injured himself. The keeper did well to make several saves, but the inevitable happened with all Garforth substitutes used up. A high ball that Ellison could not contest, and a horrible ricochet later, and the Miner’s were level in a game they had all but won after nearly eighty minutes of comfort.
Two things happened. A promising Harrogate attack was deemed offside, by the vastly improved linesman, and the ensuing break from Garforth saw Thornton released into space down the middle. Heading from right to left, he in turn released fellow substitute Christopher Jones, and the youngster’s left footed finish was true. Garforth snatched victory from the snapping jaws of possible defeat that had ripped surefire victory away from the Colegate smiling mouth of a comfortable win in the first place… ahem, or in other terms, unfortunate injuries looked to have doomed the match, but as it were they only served to provide a tensely entertaining conclusion to it. The Miner’s march on, after knocking the Railwaymen off the tracks…
Town progress, and face more cup fixtures on the hunt for glory in the coming winter months as the cold spectre of darkness looms over us all.
"Exit light… enter night. Take my hand… we’re off to never Neverland…"
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